The Power of Detours: Finding Your Way to Purpose

Life is full of choices that direct our path; sometimes, those choices lead us to an unexpected detour. Detours can be positive, re-routing us toward a better direction than where we were initially headed. They can also be challenging, knocking us off-course or resulting in problematic consequences. But here’s the truth: our lives are not defined by a single choice; they are shaped by how we respond to those choices. A detour isn’t the end of the journey—it can be precisely what leads us back to where we were always meant to go.

I know something about detours; one choice, in particular, created challenges and regrets for many years, but it ultimately led me to my purpose. To tell this story, I have to start at the beginning. I am a first-generation college student, having grown up poor on a small tobacco farm in rural Milton, North Carolina. My parents loved and supported me unconditionally and gave us the greatest gift imaginable—they carried the weight of financial struggles and life’s challenges so my brothers and I didn’t have to. Only now do I truly understand their sacrifices, shielding us from those burdens so we could experience a childhood filled with joy, not worry.

From an early age, I knew I wanted more from life; I didn’t know exactly what more looked like—only that education was the key to helping me find it. My parents were intelligent, capable, and deeply committed to building a good life for our family. Neither of them had graduated high school, but they more than made up for what they lacked in formal education with grit and determination. Ultimately, my mother made us all proud when she earned her high school equivalency and a cosmetology degree from Piedmont Community College. She went on to build, own, and operate a successful salon for decades. My father was equally inspiring. When I was a little girl, he worked three jobs; after spending the early morning hours tending to the farm or delivering mail as a substitute mail carrier, he would head out at three o’clock every afternoon for his second-shift job at Dan River Mills, a cotton mill just across the border in Danville, Virginia. Eventually, he left the mill to become a full-time mailman, a job he held for over 30 years before he retired. My parents were my role models and inspirations, and they did everything within their power to help me find the more I was seeking, even when their life experiences hindered their ability to understand why I needed more.

I worked hard in high school, excelling academically and earning scholarships and grants that allowed me to enroll at UNC-Greensboro. It felt like the first big step toward the ‘more’ I had always dreamed of, a chance to build a future beyond what I had known. But life had other plans. When I was offered a full-time job with a salary higher than either of my parents had ever earned—and with benefits—it felt like an opportunity I couldn’t pass up. My parents, who had worked tirelessly to provide for us, valued the security of a steady paycheck and encouraged me to consider the job carefully. They guided me as best they could, and ultimately, I decided to drop out of UNC-Greensboro and take the job. At the time, it felt like the right choice—I was excited by the prospect of financial independence and afraid that it might never come again if I didn’t seize the opportunity.

Shortly after taking the job at Royal Textile Mills in Yanceyville, North Carolina, I realized that I still wanted more, and instinctively, I knew education was the key to helping me find it. Ultimately, I enrolled at Rockingham Community College, the local community college near my home in Ruffin, North Carolina. Unsure of what to major in, I chose the first program listed—accounting—something I now know many of our students do as well. There’s more to my story than I can fit in a single blog post, so I’ll fast-forward to the part that matters most for this theme: the power of a detour. Taking that job was a significant detour from my original plan, which lasted 12 years.

Like many other adult learners in community colleges, I faced responsibilities that often took priority over my education. During those 12 years, life happened. I married, moved to a new city, and raised a family. These choices brought joy and purpose to my life but extended my detour from earning my degree. I attended another community college, Durham Tech, and a few universities along the way, fitting classes into my life however and whenever possible. It wasn’t easy—there were long days, sleepless nights, and moments when it felt like I might never reach the finish line.

But I kept going. No matter how often life pulled me in another direction, I returned to my goal because I knew education was the key to unlocking the future I wanted. Finally, in 1992, twelve years after graduating from high school and enrolling at UNC-G, I earned my Bachelor of Science in Computer Information Systems from Roger Williams University.

It would have been easy to view that long detour as a setback, but in hindsight, it was the detour that shaped me, broadened my perspective, and ultimately led me to my purpose. After 14 years of working outside higher education, I found a job at Carteret Community College. In 1996, when I walked through the doors on my first day as the Director of Institutional Computing, I knew I had found where I belonged. That first job in higher education wasn’t part of my original plan. Still, it opened doors I never knew existed and set me on a path to nearly three decades of service in the North Carolina Community College System—including my role today as president of Forsyth Technical Community College.

Detours don’t mean we’re lost. Merriam-Webster defines a detour as “a roundabout way temporarily replacing part of a route.” I like this definition—it reminds me that while my detour temporarily shifted my path, it didn’t prevent me from reaching my destination. In my first blog of the year, I quoted Robert Frost’s The Road Not Taken: “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.” I chose a road that, while non-traditional, led me exactly where I was meant to be. I can’t know where life might have led me had I chosen the other road, but I do know this: the path I took brought me to a destination that I believe, with all my heart, is my life’s purpose.

Detours often lead us to destinations we never imagined, opening doors we didn’t even know existed. My detour led me to my purpose, and it taught me that life isn’t about sticking to a rigid plan—it’s about embracing the journey, learning from every twist and turn, and trusting that even the unexpected can lead to something extraordinary.

But purpose isn’t something you arrive at all at once — it’s something you discover as you live, learn, and grow. That’s where I’ll pick up in my next blog—how discovering our purpose also shapes our purpose, giving meaning to the journey, not just the destination.